บันทึกวันที่ความฝันหยุดนิ่ง

Submitted by chamee on Tue, 2010-05-11 10:35

เป็นเวลากว่าเดือนที่ความคิดและปลายนิ้วนิ่งสนิท ขยับพิมพ์งานใดๆ ไม่ได้เลยเพราะดูเหมือนมันหยุดชะงักที่จะต่อตรงกับความฝันและหัวใจเสียอย่างนั้น ‘เขียนงานไม่ออก’ กลายเป็นภาวะที่กลืนไม่เข้าคายไม่ออก เพราะกลัว…กลัวหัวใจจะสิ้นสุดแรงฝันลงตรงนั้น

ไม่มีทุกข์ใดของนักเขียนที่ยิ่งไปกว่าการไม่ได้เขียน พยายามเวียนวน คิดค้น ทำอย่างไรจะพ้นไปจากภาวะนี้

นั่งจ้องจอคอมพิวเตอร์…ไม่ช่วยอะไร

หยิบสมุดจดที่เคยเขียนพล็อตมากมายเอาไว้…จะถ่ายทอดอย่างไรเล่า

อ่านหนังสือมากมาย… แต่หัวใจกลับยิ่งคล้ายถูกถมจมไปกับข้อมูล

หยิบเรื่องประโลมโลกมาช่วยประโลมหัวใจ…กลายเป็นจับผิดคนเขียนไปทุกตัวอักษร

สุดท้าย ‘จำ’ ต้องนิ่ง หยุดทุกสิ่ง หยุดเขียน และลามเลยไปกระทั่งหยุดอ่าน สำหรับคนที่กระหายตัวอักษร เสพตัวหนังสือราวกับหายใจ …นี่ไม่ต่างอะไรกับการหยุดหายใจ…

ปล่อยชีวิตและปลายนิ้วให้นิ่งอยู่อย่างนั้นกระทั่งนิ่งพอ ไฟล์งานจึงถูกเปิดขึ้นมาอีกครั้ง แม้ใยที่โยงยึดระหว่างปลายนิ้ว...สมอง…หัวใจ จะบางเบา แต่ครั้งนี้ค่อยๆ ร้อยเรียง เปลวไฟที่อ่อนล้าค่อยๆ เรืองรอง และความฝันก็ได้ออกเดินทางอีกครั้ง

หนังสือหลายเล่มถูกหยิบมาอ่านใหม่ คราวนี้ไม่ใช่เพื่ออะไร เพื่อทดสอบตัวเอง... ยังมีความสุขกับตัวอักษรแค่ไหน แล้วก็ได้พบกำลังใจ

มีใครบ้างไม่เคยอ่อนล้า… มีหัวใจใดบ้างไม่อ่อนแรง

หากแต่สิ่งที่ต้องถามตัวเอง เมื่อยอมให้หัวใจอ่อนล้า รู้จักปลุกปลอบกอบกู้แค่ไหน

ลืมเลือนความฝันที่เคยลุกโชนในหัวใจลงไปหรือเปล่า

การเรียนรู้ที่จะอดทน ไม่ใช่แค่ต้องมีหัวใจกล้าแข็ง

หากแต่อดทน ต้องรู้จักที่จะรา…และเพิ่มเชื้อไฟ

วันใดก็ตามที่เหนื่อย จงรู้จักผ่อน ไม่ใช่ผ่อนเพื่อให้หลุดลอย…แต่ผ่อนเพื่อรวบรวมกำลัง สู้และก้าวต่อไปข้างหน้า ในสิ่งที่เลือกและรักที่จะเดิน ไม่ใช่เพื่อใคร…แต่เพื่อซื่อสัตย์กับสิ่งที่หัวใจตัวเองมุ่งมั่นจะก้าวไปให้ได้เท่านั้นเอง

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"These are of course sending shockwaves, statements like that. I think the Brotherhood in particular, and some of the Salafis, should send quickly messages of assurance both inside the country and outside the country to make sure that society continues to be cohesive to make sure that investment will come in."
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He predicted the Muslim Brotherhood will prefer to form an alliance with the liberals rather than the Salafis to get a majority in parliament. The liberal Egyptian Bloc — which came in third with 13.4 percent of the votes — could counterbalance hard-line elements.
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The rise of the Islamists has also caused concern in the U.S. and Israel, which has a long-standing peace treaty with Egypt it fears might be in jeopardy. But ElBaradei said he does not foresee any radical changes in Egypt's foreign policy because the country still depends heavily on foreign assistance and cannot afford to isolate itself. Egypt is one of the largest recipients of U.S. foreign aid.
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He said he is advising the liberal youth groups not to give up and to view this as a "long haul" process and to start preparing for the next elections, overcome their ideological differences and work together.

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Tue, 2010-12-14 14:56 — suebamea

อารมณ์ของความเหงา...และความท้อถอย!!!

บางครั้งการอ่านก็ไม่เพียงแต่ให้กำลังใจแต่เพียงอย่างเดียว...ถึงแม้บางครั้งจะเป็นเพียงเรื่องประโลมโลกแต่หากก็ทำให้เรารู้สึกมีเพื่อนที่สามารถเข้าถึงได้โดยไม่ต้องเอื้อนเอ่ยอะไรออกมาเลย...หากเรารู้จัก"อ่านให้เป็น" ก็เห็นจะมีแต่ประโยชน์จากการมีเพื่อนเป็นตัวหนังสือ....ทุกคำที่ร้อยเรียงออกมาเชื่อเป็นที่สุดว่าผู้เขียนต่างตั้งใจโดยแท้ และหากผู้เขียนขาดซึ่งกำลังใจและเชื้อไฟที่จะเขียนต่อ...ผู้อ่านที่รอก็คงจะไม่ต่างกัน...ฉนั้นก็ขอให้หมั่นเติมเชื้อไฟไว้เถิด...เพราะนอกจากทำตามหัวใจที่มุ่งหวังแล้วก็ขอให้รู้ไว้ว่าเพื่อผู้อ่านที่รออยู่ข้างหลัง...^^ (เป็นกำลังใจให้เสมอค่ะ)

Tue, 2010-11-30 15:52 — Bo_Minum

สู้ต่อไป

ก็อย่างที่พี่ปุ้ยเขีียนแหละ ไม่ใช่แค่นักเขียนเท่านั้น

คนที่ทำอาชีพอื่นก็มีภาวะที่เป็นแบบนี้เหมือนกัน

บางทีการหยุด (เติมเชื้อไฟ) ก็ดีกว่าการดันทุรังต่อไปนะ

พักผ่อนให้สมองปลอดโปร่ง ใจใสๆ ย่อมเห็นอะไรง่ายกว่าใจขุ่นมัวเนอะ

สู้ๆ ค่ะพี่ปุ้ย เป็นกำลังใจให้ค่ะ

Fri, 2010-10-01 16:08 — jhaamuah

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